THE CHALLENGE OF CONFLICTING CONVICTIONS
You saw yourself as bowing to the will of God. But by the same action, members of your beloved family perceived you as raising your head in defiance of their best wishes for you. Could you now do God’s will without necessarily making enemies of your loved ones?
I was once faced with this situation towards the end of the year 1969. As a young person, something always exited me about facing challenges: going to new places, taking up a difficult job, serving in dangerous situation. When I believed such was the will of God for me. But a greater challenge is to do God’s with minimum tension between me and those who affected by any actions.
That was my discovery when I faced the challenge of my first job after secondary school. I was to oversea a local branch of a rehabilitation project for survivors of the Nigerian civil war as from December 1969. That would keep me close to the war front.
My parents and loved ones saw the idea differently. The war was still raging fiercely. Bullets and bombs were still claiming lives in the thousands. A great deal of destruction had been done. Almost every other house had its roof perforated with bullets. There were so many deep pot-holes on every kilometer of the roads in the war zone that it would be a share waste of time driving a vehicle on them. Besides, no one could tell for sure where the traveler might be pounced upon by “Biafran” soldiers in ambush.
A close friend of my had just returned from the front line where he had been serving as a military doctor. He told stories of how the area was charged with dangers. He told of a day when the “Biafran” forces raided a town with bullets from the air, one bullet penetrated the roof and ceiling of the house in which he was lodging, and fell directly on his uniform as his house help was ironing it on the table. Such terrifying stories about the war front abounded.
I could therefore understand why my family members saw the idea of my intended service in the war front differently and objected to it. To me, it was an opportunity to serve in another part of the country; to them, I was going to be too far away from home. To me, nothing could be more rewarding than opening up my life to those poor war victims; to them, I was being fanatic enough to take up a low-pay job on which I might starve. I saw myself as an agent of life to someone who might otherwise perish; they saw me as one going to place himself in the very jaw of death. I saw myself obeying the will of God; but they saw me as raising my head in defiance of my family’s best wishes. Could I do God’s will now without necessarily making enemies of my relations in the process.
My struggle then becomes intense because the prevailing circumstances seemed to run contrary to what I expected it to be were I in the very centre of God’s will. I did not (and still do not) believe that I should ignore the feeling of my people on any decision of importance. This was especially so because they too were christains who sincerely sought to see God’s will prevail in the live of every member of their family. (Even if they had not been Christian, the fact that they were the vehicle through whom God conveyed me into existence made them deserve my deep respect.) Hence I read their objection as a “wait” signal from the lord. But I realized that I had to make my decision and asked God to either confirm or disapprove of it as He pleased. I was responsible for my life decisions. I might consider objections from family and friends who might be affected by my decisions. But ultimately it was me that would bear the consequences of my life decisions, be they blessings or loses. I consulted with my Christian friends and enlisted their prayer support for God’s guidance. I was most desirous of one thing; After my decision might have been made, I wanted to have peace as Gods seal that I had done His will.
Being aware of my responsibility to make up my mind, I decided to accept the job in principle. Then this is what I told my heavenly father; “God, you know I want to do your will. You also know about my conviction that serving in Port-Harcourt is your will for me at this time. “I have decided to accept the Job”, I continued. “Would you therefore confirm this as your will- if indeed it is by making my family consent to the idea before the resumption date?” Having prayed like this, I rested assured that the lord would resolve the conflict.
It was a Sunday afternoon. I had less than 24 hours within which to either show up for the preliminary part of the job or lose it. But my people were still as strongly opposed to my plan as when they first heard of it several weeks before.
My father called a meeting of the family to warn me finally to give up the job. But as we talked he changed his mind! In the 1940’s my father had worked in the marines at Lagos, Once, a moving crane over a ship lost the control piece of iron. The iron missed my father only by a hair breadth as it crashed on the deck with a deafening noise.
Just at this crucial moment during the family meeting, the Lord brought that marine incident to my father’s recollection. That was the miracle that changed the atmosphere.
“God saved me from fatal accidents in the marine’s years ago,” he recollected. “well, He can protect you too from bullets in the war area.”
My prayer had been answered! The family atmosphere changed.
Other members of the family agreed with my father. They all gave me their blessing and shared my joy and peace as I went singing to report for my job the following morning. The bible indicates that my loyalty to Christ would cause conflict between me and others who don’t share that loyalty. But it is as much a challenge to be loyal to Christ without making a head-on collision with anyone who may be “unfavorably” affected by my loyalty. All of my existing inter-personal relations do not necessarily have to go up in flames to confirm my loyalty to Christ. Infact, if in my effort to do the will of God I trample on the feelings of others, my professed loyalty to Him is devoid of biblical spirituality.
